Living In The ‘What If’

Well, it has been almost 2 months since we last chatted.  I had hoped to pop on sooner and share, but to be quite honest; I really did not feel like I had anything pressing to talk about.  The last time we were together, we talked about the word “expectation” and I asked, “What have you done for YOU lately?”  I don’t know about you, but I am still working on being intentional about self- care; making that a priority in my life.  Not necessarily, the bubble bath and chocolates kind of self-care, but more the saying “yes” only to those things I know I need to be doing right now and getting my walk three or more times a week, type of self-care.  How are you doing with that?

Today I want to ask you, “Are you living in the ‘what if’?”

This week in counselling, as we were looking at some of my writing homework, my counselor pointed out a series of ‘what if’ statements, one after the other.  She told me we needed to deal with these ‘what ifs’ because each one indicated a fear. 

Let’s pause here for a just a minute and let that sink in. 

Why do we need to pause? 

Because even though she and I took the time and walked through the process in the evening, identified the lies and fears, renounced those lies and fears and asked Jesus for the truth to proclaim in place of those lies and fears – the full force of what she said to me did not really hit me until I was out walking the next afternoon.

On lap three of four around the pond in the park, I heard Jesus say to me, “You are living in the ‘what if’.”  I paused for a minute on the pathway and repeated it to myself. “I am living in the ‘what if’”.

It was at that point that I got it, really got it. Because there is a big difference between intellectually working through a few ‘what ifs’ on a piece of paper and having the truth hit your heart and spirit hard enough to cause you to pause.

In that moment, I realized, I have been living in the ‘what if’ for a very long time.

Are you living in the ‘what if’?

What exactly is the ‘what if’?

Think about our conversations in the run of the day, or even just our self-talk.  How many times do we use the phrase ‘what if’?  What if I make a mistake, what if I lose my job, what if people think my kids are not well behaved, what if I do not get the job, what if I don’t have enough money, what if my house looks messy, what if I am not doing a good job, what if they don’t like me, what if there is a war, what if I get COVID, what if the grocery stores continue to have empty shelves, what if the car breaks down, what if the traffic is bad, what if my alarm does not go off and I am late, what if what if, what if, what if?

Think about the thoughts that keep us moving fast during the day and keep us awake at night.  Do any of them start with ‘what if’?

If any of this sounds familiar, then you may be living in the ‘what if’.

Why is the ‘what if’ a problem?

The ‘what if’ is not the issue; the problem is what it is covering up- what we do not see or choose not to see. 

The “what if” proceeds the fear and the fear is based on a lie.

When we are living in the ‘what if’, we are living life from a place of fear and a life built on lies.

What a set up for failure.

As I finished lap three around the pond and moved onto lap four, I pondered the fear and the lie.

As I walked, I thought, for me, the fear is not even that everything that can go wrong will go wrong, but that when it does go wrong I will not have the tools or resources I need or be equipped to deal with it. 

By the end of lap four, I realized the lie that feeds the fear, is that I am not enough.

Take a minute and think about the fear that proceeds your ‘what if’. 

Now, be brave, and go a bit deeper?  What is the lie that is feeding that fear?

Do you want the good news now?

As I finished lap 4 around the pond and headed back to the car, I still had a tall set of stairs to climb. That was just enough time to hear Jesus one more time. 

“I not only have the Truth, I am the Truth.” 

I paused and sat on the bench half way up the steps.  I hesitated for a moment then I asked, “What is the Truth.” 

“You are Mine and I live in you, I am more than enough and so, regardless of your ‘what ifs’, you are already enough in Me.”

What truth do you need to hear today from the One who not only has the truth, but even more importantly, IS the Truth?

Take a few laps around the pond, pause on the tall set of steps and sit on the bench for a moment or two if you need too.  If you are open, He will speak His truth to you as well.

Maybe your ‘what if’ sounds more like, ‘I wish I could’, ‘if only’, ‘when will’. 

I suspect anytime we are living outside of the moment that we are presently in, we are living somewhere that precedes the fear, the fear that is fueled by a lie.

Sitting on that bench, in the last few moments of a very productive walk, I took the time to renounce the lie that I am not enough and to proclaim the truth that I am enough in Jesus.  Then, I asked Jesus to guide and direct my steps and to continue to work with me to renew my mind, because I am done living in the ‘what if’.

What about you? Are you ready to give up life in the ‘what if’?

Jesus has you.

Perhaps this is the self-care you need for today.  Taking the time to let Jesus show you the fear and the lie and taking the time to nail them to the cross and proclaim the truth Jesus is in your life and has for your life.

You’ve got this!