How Do I Love Thee – When We Realize Our Definition Of Love Is Not Enough
How Do I Love Thee – When We Realize Our Definition Of Love Is Not Enough
Hello my dear friend, welcome back to the table! It is hard to believe it has been two weeks already. What did you think about the Way of Community that we talked about last time? If you missed our last chat, you can click here to read it and have a chance to comment. This week at the table, I want to talk about love. Specifically, How Do I Love Thee – When We Realize Our Definition Of Love Is Not Enough. Grab your favourite mug and something to drink and grab a place at the table! There is room for everyone!
How Do I Love Thee?
I believe that if you asked most individuals, they would indicate that they consider themselves loving people. My question today is how does our love measure up? What does loving others look like to us? If we are really honest with ourselves, how are we doing with loving all those around us?
How We Have Romanticized Love
Our society has done us a great disservice in how it portrays love. First off, society has demonstrated an unbalanced focus on “romantic” love while ignoring the love we are called to for all those around us. Secondly, the focus that society does put on “romantic love “has become completely commercialized. The more money we spend on fancy dinners, flowers and expensive jewelry, and the more you look longingly into another’s eyes 24 hours a day, the more in love you would appear to be. Society has sold us a concept of love that is unrealistic on two fronts and most of us have bought it, hook, line and sinker.
So Where Is The Love Now?
Although there is a time and place for flowers, nice dinners and gifts, when we buy into this overly commercialized and romanticized concept of love, it can have a negative impact on our ability to love both others and ourselves. What if you are not getting flowers and fancy dinners and expensive gifts – does that mean you are not loveable? When was the last time you gazed longingly into the eyes of your spouse all day? Not so realistic, right? Society tends to amp up the social expectations of love and then when we do not meet those expectations we can begin to doubt that we are loveable or that we are able to love others to the degree that they need to be loved. Unmet expectations, no matter how unreasonable they are, can cause discontent and unhappiness in relationships. So where is the love now?
We are called to love each other, not just our spouse. When we get 100% caught up in loving one person, our focus becomes narrow and we tend to lose sight of the fact that there are people all around us that we are called to love as well. So where is the love now?
Where Do We Get Our Direction?
If we don’t look to society to tell us about love, where do we get our direction? We look to the Word. As Christians, we are called to love as God loves.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. John 13:34
When we think about what loving others and even ourselves, looks like, we need to be measuring our love against that of God, not against societal expectations.
How Does God Love?
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
God sent His only begotten Son into the world for us and He did so while we were still sinners, still estranged from Him. He did not wait until we “straightened up”. He saw us just as we were and where we were. He met us there and loved us enough, even then, to make a way of restoration for us. He has compassion and that stirred up mercy and grace towards us.
The Example of Jesus
How did Jesus love?
Love
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35
Serve
You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. “For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. John 13: 13-15
Seek the Will of the Father
“I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me. John 5:30
Keep Commandments
If you love Me, keep My commandments. John14:15
For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. I John 5:3
Love Without Expectation
Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. Luke 23:34
He loved with no expectation of love in return. Even on the cross, He prayed for those that crucified Him.
Who Did Jesus Love?
Who Did Jesus love? He loved the sinners, the tax collectors, the prostitutes-those that the religious elite of the day had no time for. Repeatedly, in the gospels, it indicates that He has compassion on the people. All the people, not just the people He liked, who were like Him, or who were in the Church of the day – He loved all the people.
What Does Love Really Look Like?
- Compassion
- Stick with it through thick and thin – love is not a throw-away thing, it is a work-on-it activity
- Consideration in the little, everyday things
- Think of others before ourselves
- Love with no expectation in return
- Love the unlovable (everyone is loveable because of their inherent worth as created beings)
- Allow compassion to be stirred up within
- Hold a hand, give a hug, reach out to others
- No offence
What Does Love Sound Like?
- Have you eaten?
- Call when you get there
- Here, let me help you with that
- What do you need?
- I love you
- You are special and important
- You can do this, I can help
Are We Ready To Love As God Loves?
So, if we ask the question again, what does loving others look like to you, how would we answer now? Is it time to rethink who we love and how to love, and begin to love in a way that is enough! The first step to real change is to acknowledge where we are today. We need to start by being honest about how loving we really are. How loving are we really?
Where Do We Start?
We need to start where we find ourselves today. True love is a process – it requires conscious thought and intentional action. It does not “just” happen. Pray and ask the Lord to stir up compassion within you and allow that compassion to arise. Now be intentional about practically loving those around you. Love, Serve, Seek the Will of God, Keep the Lord’s Commandments, Love without Expectation, Love those who are unlovable, Love those who may or may not love you in return.
What I Know
I do not know everything but one thing I do know is that the world needs a lot more love; not romantic, commercialized love, but real, down to earth, honest, practical, intentional, everyday love. I also know that if you ask and allow Him to work in you, the Lord will stir up a compassion in you for those around you that cannot be quenched!
Until Next Time
Well, my friend, our time is up for today. It was lovely to visit together and chat. I would love to hear from you – comment in the comment section below or contact me via the contact information below. Community is a two-way conversation 🙂
Your Turn To Comment
There are several ways to participate in the blog this week:
1) share your word for the year if you haven’t already done so,
2) talk to us about the last 2 blogs – what do you think about the 3 mindsets we talked about (fairness vs grace, looking out for oneself vs rejoicing in the prospering of others, excelling for fame, fortune or notoriety vs excelling in serving) – or comment on The Way of Community
3) how do you love others?
4) what areas of loving others do you need to work on?
5) share what you would like to chat about at this table,
6) just share!
NEW!
On the website, I have posted my word for the year and my Bible Verse for the year. I am planning for some changes to the site – help me out – what would you like to see on the website? Comment in the blog section.
Also, my new Lent Devotion has just released on Amazon. It is called A Walk Through Luke for Lent. It is a daily devotional for the Lent season. You can click here to get your Paperback or Kindle version.
If you are enjoying our time together – share the blog – there are options next to the comment section for sharing on Pinterest and Facebook and through email.
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Be In Touch
I’m at the kitchen table every day; drop by anytime for a chat! You can find me on:
Email laurie@lauriehopkins.ca
Professional Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/GodsWritingDancer/
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ca/LaurieHopkins10/
Comment section at the end of each blog
Until next time,
From my heart to yours!
Laurie
