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February 10 2020

How Do I Love Thee – When We Realize Our Definition Of Love Is Not Enough

Hello my dear friend, welcome back to the table! It is hard to believe it has been two weeks already. What did you think about the Way of Community that we talked about last time? If you missed our last chat, you can click here to read it and have a chance to comment. This week at the table, I want to talk about love. Specifically, How Do I Love Thee – When We Realize Our Definition Of Love Is Not Enough. Grab your favourite mug and something to drink and grab a place at the table! There is room for everyone!

How Do I Love Thee?

I believe that if you asked most individuals, they would indicate that they consider themselves loving people. My question today is how does our love measure up? What does loving others look like to us? If we are really honest with ourselves, how are we doing with loving all those around us?

How We Have Romanticized Love

Our society has done us a great disservice in how it portrays love. First off, society has demonstrated an unbalanced focus on “romantic” love while ignoring the love we are called to for all those around us. Secondly, the focus that society does put on “romantic love “has become completely commercialized. The more money we spend on fancy dinners, flowers and expensive jewelry, and the more you look longingly into another’s eyes 24 hours a day, the more in love you would appear to be. Society has sold us a concept of love that is unrealistic on two fronts and most of us have bought it, hook, line and sinker.

So Where Is The Love Now?

Although there is a time and place for flowers, nice dinners and gifts, when we buy into this overly commercialized and romanticized concept of love, it can have a negative impact on our ability to love both others and ourselves. What if you are not getting flowers and fancy dinners and expensive gifts – does that mean you are not loveable? When was the last time you gazed longingly into the eyes of your spouse all day? Not so realistic, right? Society tends to amp up the social expectations of love and then when we do not meet those expectations we can begin to doubt that we are loveable or that we are able to love others to the degree that they need to be loved. Unmet expectations, no matter how unreasonable they are, can cause discontent and unhappiness in relationships. So where is the love now?

We are called to love each other, not just our spouse. When we get 100% caught up in loving one person, our focus becomes narrow and we tend to lose sight of the fact that there are people all around us that we are called to love as well. So where is the love now?

Where Do We Get Our Direction?

If we don’t look to society to tell us about love, where do we get our direction? We look to the Word. As Christians, we are called to love as God loves.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. John 13:34

When we think about what loving others and even ourselves, looks like, we need to be measuring our love against that of God, not against societal expectations.

How Does God Love?

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God sent His only begotten Son into the world for us and He did so while we were still sinners, still estranged from Him. He did not wait until we “straightened up”. He saw us just as we were and where we were. He met us there and loved us enough, even then, to make a way of restoration for us. He has compassion and that stirred up mercy and grace towards us.

The Example of Jesus

How did Jesus love?

Love

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35

Serve

You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. “For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. John 13: 13-15

Seek the Will of the Father

“I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me. John 5:30

Keep Commandments

If you love Me, keep My commandments. John14:15

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. I John 5:3

Love Without Expectation

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. Luke 23:34

He loved with no expectation of love in return. Even on the cross, He prayed for those that crucified Him.

Who Did Jesus Love?

Who Did Jesus love? He loved the sinners, the tax collectors, the prostitutes-those that the religious elite of the day had no time for. Repeatedly, in the gospels, it indicates that He has compassion on the people. All the people, not just the people He liked, who were like Him, or who were in the Church of the day – He loved all the people.

What Does Love Really Look Like?

Compassion
Stick with it through thick and thin – love is not a throw-away thing, it is a work-on-it activity
Consideration in the little, everyday things
Think of others before ourselves
Love with no expectation in return
Love the unlovable (everyone is loveable because of their inherent worth as created beings)
Allow compassion to be stirred up within
Hold a hand, give a hug, reach out to others
No offence

What Does Love Sound Like?

Have you eaten?
Call when you get there
Here, let me help you with that
What do you need?
I love you
You are special and important
You can do this, I can help

Are We Ready To Love As God Loves?

So, if we ask the question again, what does loving others look like to you, how would we answer now? Is it time to rethink who we love and how to love, and begin to love in a way that is enough! The first step to real change is to acknowledge where we are today. We need to start by being honest about how loving we really are. How loving are we really?

Where Do We Start?

We need to start where we find ourselves today. True love is a process – it requires conscious thought and intentional action. It does not “just” happen. Pray and ask the Lord to stir up compassion within you and allow that compassion to arise. Now be intentional about practically loving those around you. Love, Serve, Seek the Will of God, Keep the Lord’s Commandments, Love without Expectation, Love those who are unlovable, Love those who may or may not love you in return.

What I Know

I do not know everything but one thing I do know is that the world needs a lot more love; not romantic, commercialized love, but real, down to earth, honest, practical, intentional, everyday love. I also know that if you ask and allow Him to work in you, the Lord will stir up a compassion in you for those around you that cannot be quenched!

Until Next Time

Well, my friend, our time is up for today. It was lovely to visit together and chat. I would love to hear from you – comment in the comment section below or contact me via the contact information below. Community is a two-way conversation 🙂

Your Turn To Comment

There are several ways to participate in the blog this week:

1) share your word for the year if you haven’t already done so,

2) talk to us about the last 2 blogs – what do you think about the 3 mindsets we talked about (fairness vs grace, looking out for oneself vs rejoicing in the prospering of others, excelling for fame, fortune or notoriety vs excelling in serving) – or comment on The Way of Community

3) how do you love others?

4) what areas of loving others do you need to work on?

5) share what you would like to chat about at this table,

6) just share!

NEW!

On the website, I have posted my word for the year and my Bible Verse for the year. I am planning for some changes to the site – help me out – what would you like to see on the website? Comment in the blog section.

Also, my new Lent Devotion has just released on Amazon. It is called A Walk Through Luke for Lent. It is a daily devotional for the Lent season. You can click here to get your Paperback or Kindle version.

If you are enjoying our time together – share the blog – there are options next to the comment section for sharing on Pinterest and Facebook and through email.

Remember that you can sign up to receive these blogs directly into your email. Click here to go to the website and then on the right-hand side of the screen, partway down, click on the subscribe link and follow the instructions. Invite your friends to do so as well!

Be In Touch

I’m at the kitchen table every day; drop by anytime for a chat! You can find me on:

Email laurie@lauriehopkins.ca

Professional Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/GodsWritingDancer/

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ca/LaurieHopkins10/

Comment section at the end of each blog

Until next time,

From my heart to yours!

Laurie

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January 27 2020

The Way Of Community

The Way of Community

Hello my dear friend, welcome back to the table! It is hard to believe it has been two weeks already. How did you do with the shifting of mindsets we talked about last time? If you missed our last chat, you can click here to read it and have a chance to comment. This week at the table, I want to talk about The Way of Community. Grab your mug and a hot drink and take your seat at the table. If this is your first time with us, don’t worry, there is room for everyone here.

The Why Of Community

Why this focus on community? Why do all these blogs seem to lead back to this one concept? I believe that we have lost our way. I believe our society has become self-sufficient and self-focused. Because many of us have the means to be our own support and encouragement, our focus and our peer group have become narrowed. Self-sufficiency tells us that we do not require many people with little pieces of the puzzle, to come together and help make up the bigger picture of our lives. Instead, it tells us that not only do we get to decide on what the picture looks like ourselves, but we also are able and should build it ourselves. I’m here to come against this lie of the enemy that we have taken on as the truth in our lives and has caused us to become a group of individuals “doing our own thing” together in the world, rather than a collection of communities seeking to connect with one another. We were created for relationship – we were built for community. We were never meant for a self-sufficient and self-focused life.

The What Of Community

What is a community? It is important to note that a community is not just a group of individuals that continue living life in a self-sufficient manner, together. Nor is community connecting with others, just to further our own agenda. Rather, community involves living life together, sharing our time, resources, giftings and energy with one another for the benefit, not only of ourselves, but also of those around us. Communities can be small or large. We can be a part of a few communities or many communities. Community groups can overlap with one another.

The Who Of Community

We can live in community with a variety of people, in a variety of combinations over a varied span of time. However, community is not all about similar people with the same idea and thoughts and goals, gathering together to further their own agenda. True community may begin with similar people, with the same ideas and thoughts and goals, but must not stop there. The aim of true community is to reach out to those around us, offering up what we have, to improve the quality of life of those around us. Community flourishes when we become a group of varied people with varied idea and interests, giftings and resources to share – while working toward a similar vision.

The When Of Community

Community is an everyday event. It is not meant just for special occasions or when we need to get something done. If we could just grasp that our everyday lives are enhanced by the connections we have with others, we would be better able to understand that community is not a question of when – real community happens all the time.

The Where Of Community

Community happens wherever people are together. It can happen in your living room, your backyard, over coffee, at work, in the large community, in the church, in schools, in the grocery store, on the street or online. Community is about connection and connection can happen anywhere you have people who are open and willing to engage with those around them.

The How Of Community

Community does not just happen. The building of community is an intentional process. Especially in a society where the concept of self-sufficiency has taken such a solid hold. We have to want to be part of community. We have to reach out to those around us and encourage community. It is an active process; it does not just happen on its own. It requires some courage, moving outside of your own box and comfort zone and a large dose of authentic living.

Community Is The Answer

Community is a large part of the answer to the many questions we have today. If we are willing to be real with ourselves and real with those around us, we would be quick to admit that self-sufficiency is a lonely way to live. The willingness to live an authentic life is the first step to building community. When we begin to be real with one another and ourselves, when the masks come off and we begin to reach out our hand to those around us, for help and to assist, true community will begin to form. As it forms, we will need to become intentional about encouraging its growth. Building community requires some effort but the joy that comes from living/engaging in a true and flourishing community, far outweighs any effort we will ever put in.

What I Know

I have longed for true community for some time. Sometimes it takes time to find the community that you can truly connect with and be part of. I am happy to say that in the last month, as we have settled into our new home, we have become part of the most amazing community. We are not perfect at Agape House Canada, but we are committed to living the life we have been called to as followers of Jesus, expanding our community by reaching out to those around us, encouraging one another in the practical things of everyday life as well as our individual and group growth in our Christian walk, helping one another to recognize and develop our giftings for the cause of the Kingdom and making an impact in the world for Jesus. For the first time in a long time, I feel fully alive and fully engaged! What I know, is that I want this for each one of you as well. It is time to take a courageous step from behind the mask of self-sufficiency and to begin to reach out a hand to those around you – a hand for assistance as well as a hand to benefit. You need to find your community and you need to do it now. Time is short!

Until Next Time

Well, my friend, our time at the table is over for the moment. It does not have to end here though. Below you will find a number of ways to connect outside of checking in every two weeks for this blog. Directly below are a number of ways you can contribute to the conversation at this table. Below that are a number of ways you can connect directly with me. Today is the day to take the first step. It may take some time and a little bit of courage to step out and do so, but together, we can make community happen!

Your Turn To Comment

You can comment directly under the blog in the blog section. We, at the table, would love to hear from you. Here are some ideas to get you started:

1) What communities are you a part of?

2) What do you see as the benefits of community?

3) If you are hesitant to join in communities, what is holding you back?

4) What would you like to talk about in this community? At this table?

5) Just share!

New

Be In Touch

I am at the kitchen table every day; drop by anytime for a chat! You can find me on:

Email laurie@lauriehopkins.ca

Professional Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/GodsWritingDancer/

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ca/LaurieHopkins10/

Comment section at the end of each blog

Until next time,

From my heart to yours!

Laurie Hopkins

Category: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

January 13 2020

When We Want Fairness But Really Need Grace –When Mindsets Need to Shift

Hello, my dear friend. So happy to see you back at the table for a chat. Last time I asked you to share your word for the year. We got some good words: expectancy, prayer, “make room at my table”, consistency, trust, “no more walls”. What a great start to the year! If you weren’t here last time, feel free to join us and share your word for the year in the comment section below the blog. I am excited to see what God has in store for all of us and we move in 2020. So, grab your warm cup of something and choose a chair. This week we are going to talk about When We Want Fairness But Really Need Grace: When Mindsets Need to Shift

It Is Time To Shift Our Thinking

I believe that 2020 is a year in which we need to shift our thinking. I think that we so often get caught up in our mind “habits” that we miss out on seeing things in a new and refreshing way. This week I would like for us to consider “What if there is something better?” with regards to 3 mindsets or ways of thinking, that I believe need to switch in 2020.

Matthew 20

Early last week in my devotional time, I was reading in Matthew 20. I read the story of the landowner who went out into the market at various times throughout the day and hired men to go and work in his vineyard. At the end of the day when it was time to receive their pay, we read the following:

So when evening had come, the owner of the vineyard said to his steward, ‘Call the laborers and give them their wages, beginning with the last to the first.’ “And when those came who were hired about the eleventh hour, they each received a denarius. “But when the first came, they supposed that they would receive more; and they likewise received each a denarius.

“And when they had received it, they complained against the landowner, “saying, ‘These last men have worked only one hour, and you made them equal to us who have borne the burden and the heat of the day.’

“But he answered one of them and said, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? ‘Take what is yours and go your way. I wish to give to this last man the same as to you. ‘Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with my own things? Or is your eye evil because I am good?’

So the last will be first, and the first last. For many are called, but few chosen. Matthew 20:8-16 (NKJV)

Fair is Fair

From an early age, we teach about fairness. We believe that fairness is the king of the playground; and if we only applied it to the world around us as we grow from children to adults, then everything will be ok. When I think of the word fair I think of the word deserve. If things are fair, I am getting what I deserve and you are getting what you deserve. Therefore, when we fight for fairness, what we are fighting for is what we deserve.

When I Get What I Deserve But Someone Else Gets More Than They Deserve

Let’s look at this more closely. When we read the Biblical account above of the workers in the vineyard, we see that the landowner was accused of not “playing fair” when paying the workers. Those who were hired early in the day complained because those that were hired later in the day received the same amount of pay. But when we look more closely we see that those who complained actually got what they deserved – they were paid according to what they were promised. Therefore, we could say their pay was fair. They were paid what they deserved. The problem comes when the workers who started later in the day got more than they deserved. So the question of fairness is no longer about me getting what I deserve, it is also about others getting what they do not deserve.

What If There Is Something Better?

What if there is something better than fairness? Sometimes we really don’t deserve anything at all? What if in those moments, we were treated with grace? Grace is defined as favour. Favour, unlike fairness, is independent of what you deserve. In the above account, those workers who got paid for the day and only worked part of the day received favour. Grace was shown to them.

What if we fought for grace rather than fairness?

What if we shifted our mindset to be content when we get what we deserved without looking at what other people are getting? That would require being able to rejoice when others prosper.

Rejoicing In The Prospering Of Others

We are often taught, subtly or not so subtly, to look out for our own interests. This mindset comes from a spirit of lack. We often operate from the belief that there is really not enough to go around. Therefore, if you have something, there will be less for me.

What If There Is Something Better?

What if there is something better than operating out of a spirit of lack? What if we understood and truly believed that our Heavenly Father owns the “cattle on a thousand hills” (Psalm 50:10)? What if we could get our head around the fact that Jesus came, not just to save us, but so that we would have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10)? There is no lack in either of those statements. Yet, we often live from a place of lack. When we begin to live from a place of “there is enough to go around”, we will find that we are more able to rejoice in the prospering of others. We will know we have reached that place when we get what we deserve, or not, and the person beside us gets grace or favour and we are able to rejoice alongside them.

Excel

We are also taught in life to excel. To aim high and work hard and become all you can be. Unfortunately, over time, our concept of what it looks like to excel has changed. It is no longer work hard, use the gifts you have been given, and be the best you. Excelling has come to mean fame, fortune and notoriety. It involves rising as far to the top as you can all the while comparing yourself to those around you.

What If There Is Something Better?

At the end of the above parable, Jesus ends with the “lesson” for His disciples. “So the last will be first, and the first last.” (Matthew 20:16) Kingdom principles are different than the mindset of the world. In the Kingdom, the goal is not always rising to the top. We can excel in our lives by being obedient to the path the Lord has for us, living our best lives and still never achieve fame, fortune or notoriety.

What if we shifted our view of excelling? What if we choose to excel from a place of serving and obedience and allowed God to raise us up in due time. It would allow for grace instead of fairness, stop us from comparing ourselves to one another, and allow us to truly rejoice when others are prospering.

There Is Something Better

Grace is better than fairness.

Rejoicing in the prospering of others is better than looking out only for our own interests.

Excelling from a place of serving is better than seeking fame, fortune and notoriety.

What I Know

I know that mindsets can be difficult to shift. Recognizing that we need to shift is the first and most important step. Are you ready to make a shift in 2020? Let’s commit to doing this together this year. There is no need for anyone of us to float on our own. There is grace at this table. And there is freedom to be the real you, not the you that you feel you have to put out there. Peel off the mask and put it on the table. Think about which of these three mindsets you would like to work on.

Until Next Time

Well, my friends, my coffee cup is empty and the kitty cat is clamouring for some attention. Thanks so much for coming to the table. I value your presence, your commitment of time and your thoughts. This year I would love it if everyone would commit to taking a few minutes to share in the comment section of the blog after reading it. Let’s build a community that can chat, encourage and share with one another. Thanks to everyone who took the time to share their word for the year.

Your Turn To Comment

There are several ways to participate in the blog this week:

1) share your word for the year if you haven’t already done so,

2) comment on some of the other words that were shared (they are in the first paragraph of this blog),

3) talk to us about today’s blog – what do you think about the 3 mindsets we talked about (fairness vs grace, looking out for oneself vs rejoicing in the prospering of others, excelling for fame, fortune or notoriety vs excelling in serving)

4) share which mindset you would like to tackle first,

5) share what you would like to chat about at this table,

6) just share!

NEW!

Be In Touch

I’m at the kitchen table every day; drop by anytime for a chat! You can find me on:

Email laurie@lauriehopkins.ca

Professional Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/GodsWritingDancer/

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ca/LaurieHopkins10/

Comment section at the end of each blog

Until next time,

From my heart to yours!

Laurie

Category: Uncategorized | 2 Comments