I last blogged on January 1, 2021.  One year ago today.  But despite my intentions on Day 1 of last year, my blog remained untouched for an entire year.

In that blog I posted,

“What if, you made a decision to paint a new picture this year? What if, you decided to operate from a new perspective? What if, you choose to live by truth rather than by feelings? What if, you made a decision to really prioritize your life so that your relationship with your Creator was at the VERY top? What if, you made up in your mind to stop running hard after things that are temporal and began running hard after things that are eternal?”

I posted this fully expecting to begin writing a blog for the next week and the next week and the next week.  Blogs full of inspiration, intention, and new mindsets.

However, God had different plans for me, very different plans.

I took the time to do what I suggested in my very own blog (a novel idea) –

“to sit with the Father. Sit quietly and really listen to His heart for you and for those around you and for that outside of your direct sphere of influence. What does He have to share with you on this, the first day of a brand new year, the first day of a brand new opportunity?”

God spoke clearly. 

And I was not ready for what He had to say.

He said, “Stop – set it all aside – until you hear from Me to move forward.”

I was obedient. 

A week turned into two, then three, then a month, and then many months.  A whole year of months.

This was not what I expected when I penned that blog on January 1, 2021.

I went through a variety of emotions.

I was frustrated (I had things to say), then confused (but God I thought you wanted me to do this), a bit angry or maybe even a lot angry (but God I have put all kinds of time and money into this already!) and then I grieved (the loss of my platform, the loss of some of my identity, the loss of a place to express myself, the loss of what I thought God wanted me to do).

And still, no word from God to write.  I wrote in other spaces – for myself, in my journal, as I did my devotions, as part of my counselling homework, in notes and letters to family and friends who needed to know how important they are in my life. 

However, I did not blog. 

I did not write for the many to see –

I wrote only for the few.

What happened in that year of not blogging?

I did not become a better writer.

I did not stockpile all kinds of wonderful ideas for blogging later on.

I did not come up with a new theme, brand, or way of presenting myself on my blog.

I did come to realize that for all my talk of authenticity, I was not authentic.

I learned that for all my talk of changing and shifting mindsets, my mind was closed up tighter than a fortress.

I found my emotions.

I began to give those emotions permission to exist.

I started to allow those emotions out in public, without the need for filtering them first.

I made the decision to open my mouth and allow my voice to come forth – my real voice – the previously heavily censored one.

I discovered I did not really love myself, which stifled my walk with God and contaminated how I loved my neighbour.

I found out that loving yourself requires a lot of hard work.

I learned the hard way that authenticity is more than just a buzzword found on many blogs in the year 2000, including mine. 

I was convicted that blogging comes with a great responsibility to be walking out what you are sharing – really walking it out………not intending to walk it out or wanting to walk it out – but actually putting in the hard work to walk it out.  Even, and probably especially, the parts that your mind resists the most.

Two weeks ago, I heard God clearly say –“It is time to write. But this time you need to do it My way.”

So today – January 1, 2022, I am trying this again.

I am not starting where we left off last year.

Because I am not where I was last year.  

A New Year calls for a New Look as well as a New Mindset.

Welcome to the new look. 

The new mindset is still loading, but it is time to begin sharing.

This time around, I really do want this to be  more interactive

I now fully understand that I have as much or more to learn from you than you will learn from me

To that end, please be in touch. 

Comment on what you read

Ask questions

Suggest topics for discussion

Authenticity requires relationship

Relationship requires conversations (hard and easy ones)

Courage is not the fighting of the war

Courage is the showing up

Welcome to 2022

I would love to do this year together!