February 25 2024

And Then There was Light

Nico the Cat

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.

Genesis 1:1-4

And Then There was Light

Sitting at the kitchen table, tea nearby,
focused on the task at hand,
I find myself leaning forward.
Cat-like, I unconsciously seek out the
sunlight, streaming in the front door.

I pause, sip and close my eyes
allowing the warmth to wash over,
soak in
and slowly seep into the darkest crevices
of my weary soul.

I imagine my appearance –
a cross between
the flowering cactus in the window
which only buds on the “sun” side,
and my cat who does not just sit in the rays
but lifts his head, throws forward his little gray face, closes his eyes and smiles,
as the light casts a rather angelic glow all around him.

In the beginning,
upon the face of the deep- 
dark, without form, and void,
the Spirit hovered- rāḥap̄-
soft, relaxed, brooding, fluttering, moving, shaking-
the introduction to a new story.

The Creative’s Voice
A spoken word, bringing forth life –
poetry in motion.
“Let there be light”;
and then there was light.
And it was good.

The separation was made.
Light and darkness divided.
The light penetrates in such a way,
that even in the space named for the darkness
the Creative allows,
in the firmament of the heavens,
a light to rule the night.

What does it matter?
Why ponder the beginning, the light and the darkness
and the why of a cat and a flowering cactus
leaning into the rays of the sun?
The task at hand is waiting, impatiently,
and the tea grows cold-
and still –
I pause.

Let there be light.
Throw open the door and allow the sun to stream in.
And then there was light.
I have not made time for it, but my body knows to pull towards its warmth.
And it was good.
I pause.
The separation was made.
The light penetrates the weariness within, distinguishing itself from the darkness.
Light and darkness divided.
Although the space of darkness receives a name, it understands that in the firmament of the heavens, it will always be ruled by a light.
And so, it moves aside.
It must.

The Creative’s Voice brushes past, in this moment
offering me a spoken word, bringing forth life –
poetry in motion.
“I am the light of the world.
He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness,
but have the light of life.”

In the darkest crevices of my weary soul,
upon the face of the deep –
dark, without form, and void,
the Spirit hovers- rāḥap̄-
soft, relaxed, brooding, fluttering, moving, shaking-
introducing my new story.
And then there was light.

Christmas cactus bloom
Category: New Beginnings | 1 Comment on And Then There was Light
December 29 2023

A Cup of Tea, A Pen and Some Paper

Sun Shining Through Trees in Woods

A Cup of Tea, A Pen and Some Paper

 

Another day, another week, another year –

how the time adds up, moves quickly and passes;

and yet, moves in slow motion.

Here we are again, just ahead,

another December 31st to reflect on and

another January 1st to look ahead from –

activities generally looked upon with great anticipation.

Yet, in this moment, I find myself,

a bit weary of reflecting

and unsure of looking ahead.

Here I sit, post Christmas lights and gifts and food

quiet

settled

a to-do list to my left

untouched for days

a hot cup of tea

a pen and paper.

How to explain

A year of waiting –

waiting to hear, waiting to know, waiting to understand, waiting for improvement, waiting for recovery, waiting for life to resume – to return to normal or a new normal or some sort of balance-

waiting on the Lord.

A year of watching-

watching for results, watching for appointments and surgery, watching beside the hospital bed, watching beside the bed at home-

watching the Lord at work.

A year of stillness and silence –

piece by piece the activities of life shut down

until all is silent-

new activity replaces-

but it is still and silent as well.

Then the withdrawal – the stillness, the silence

the pressure to fill them-

activity, doing, planning, organizing

when physically impossible or unnecessary,

the mind takes over –

filling the gap-

satisfying the craving to produce-

fortifying the lie that tells us

we must

move, do, plan, organize, produce

to exist, be seen, be heard, be loved

by others, ourselves and by God Himself.

In time,

the mind follows the physical body

in the waiting, watching, stillness and silence.

It feels less jittery, jumpy and unsettled

It sits in front of the Christmas tree and watches the lights.

It lingers over a hot cup of something, doodles on a blank piece of paper,

strings a few words together-

trying to explain its current position.

It walks in the woods and chooses to look and see, to hear and smell and feel,

rather than composing lists of things to accomplish.

It prepares food – intentionally – eats slowly and discovers

what it does and does not like.

It closes its eyes at night and chooses

to leave it all in God’s Hands.

It wakes up in the morning and lingers for a few moments-

asking God – what shall we do today?

It stops scrolling endlessly and aimlessly,

leaves the phone in another room

doesn’t listen for the ring or the buzzing and dinging,

and doesn’t worry about missing out.

It gives the physical body permission to

wait and watch –

sits in the stillness and silence-

in peace.

As the body and mind come into synch

the spirit quickens.

The waiting, watching, stillness and silence

open up new possibilities

to be in His presence-

to hear Him speak –

in the softest whisper-

to feel the lightest touch –

to see Him in the smallest details.

To know the joy of this moment –

Because He is

right here –

right now.

Another day, another week, another year –

how the time adds up, moves quickly and passes;

and yet, moves in slow motion.

Here we are again, just ahead,

another December 31st to reflect on and

another January 1st to look ahead from –

activities generally looked upon with great anticipation.

Yet,

in this moment,

this year,

this season….

waiting and watching

in the stillness and silence,

I choose to sit, post Christmas lights and gifts and food

quiet

settled

a to-do list to my left

untouched for days

a hot cup of tea

and pen and paper-

doodling and stringing a few words together,

to share (rather than explain) our current

position.

And He is here with me

His presence evident

in the present moment.

I trust He will lead us in reflection in the coming days

I trust He will show us the path forward for the coming year-

in big picture or in day-to-day snippets.

I need not

do, move, produce.

I can be-

just who I am,

who I was created to be,

here, in this very moment.

In this moment-

I exist-

I am seen, heard and loved.

And that is enough – 

more than enough.

I set my pen down and head to the kitchen

for some hot tea-

the lights in my window

catch my eye –

I smile.

Category: Life, Moments, Nature, New Beginnings | 10 Comments on A Cup of Tea, A Pen and Some Paper
April 24 2022

Learning to Let Go- When Seasons Change

Path through the woods in the spring

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

How have you been?  Really?  The last time we chatted, we talked about “living in the what if?”

Has that begun to percolate, not just in your mind, but also in your spirit? Have you sat with it and allowed it the opportunity to shift your thinking?  If not, you may need to go back and revisit it.

One of the truths I have come to learn this year is the importance of sitting with the information we are reading, hearing, and learning.  We are a society that loves to devour information – the more information the better.  However, I fear that our devouring is superficial at best.  When was the last time you sat and thought about what you read?  Discussed it with someone else?  Prayed about it? Allowed it to get down deep into your thinking and into your spirit? Gave it the opportunity to make a difference in your day-to-day life?  Before moving on to the next reading, conference material, sermon, etc.

I think we need to question our intention in devouring such vast amounts of information.  What do we actually intend to do with it?  Do we intend to learn, change and grow?  Or are we just checking off “done” on some invisible checklist, trying to prove that we are smart and capable, that we belong? I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I was caught up in that cycle.  Reading, listening, watching but never really participating. I was working hard to try to fill a void inside with “learning”.  Only to find that even just a few days later I couldn’t recall many of the details of what I had given away so much of my time for; it had been devoured by the next thing.  I was left feeling rushed and disillusioned with my inability to find what I was looking for, despite all the “learning”.

These days I am working on watching what I am taking in, how much I am taking in and being intentional about the time I spend with what I am taking in.  This means I am sharing less on my blog as well.  Moving from sharing just to share, to sharing when there is something to share.

If you have not spent some time in the last blog and wish to stop right here and go back to take a look.  Or if you want to start from here and spend some time in today’s chat. Whatever you choose to do, please consider taking the time to sit with what you read.  Think about it.  Talk about it.  Pray about it. Wrestle with it.  Comment on it.  Ask other readers, or me, questions about it.  However you choose to do it, don’t just devour it and move it- participate, engage with it, and allow it to settle deeper than the surface.

 

Now, onto our thought for today.  How many of you are happy that Spring is finally here? Nico the cat loves the longer days (more time to lie in the sun)!  I have been enjoying more walks outside.  The woods trail I like to walk in was groomed for cross-country skiing only all winter, so I am excited to be able to walk in the woods again.  There is something about being out in the midst of the trees and beside the river.

The first time I got back onto the woods trail, I must admit, I was distracted thinking about how beautiful it had been in early winter, snowy, untouched, soft snow falling and covering the surrounding trees.  Right then it looked bare, somewhat dirty, and unkempt even.  As I walked, I heard God say, “Are you ready to let go?”  “Let go of what?” I quickly responded.  I was in the process of much change and He could have been referring to many things.  His answer – “Everything.”  That was all I heard for some time.

I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now.  The question pops up frequently and at the most unusual times, “Are you ready to let go?”

Has anyone else heard this of late?  Perhaps something similar? It has been my experience, that when God speaks to me about things, He is also speaking to others about the same or similar things as well.

How have you responded?  Do you know what you need to let go of?  Is there one thing in particular or are there a few things on the potential list?

Today as I walked, I heard it again, “Are you ready to let go?” This time I answered, “Yes, I am ready, but you need to show me what I need to let go.” 

I paused and I heard the sweetest voice whisper in my ear, “When seasons change, there is a time of transition – there is beauty in the transition that you must learn to see –it may look and feel barren- but the barrenness is just an emptying so there is room within you to receive.  When seasons change, you must learn to let go, to be emptied, so you are ready to engage – and to be filled with the beauty and joy of the next season. The season is changing – what do you KNOW you NEED to let go?”

The new season is not just about doing something different, trying new things, gathering new information, being a different you.  The new season is mostly about what you let go of.  The doubts, the fears, and the lies you have built your current foundation on.  The obstacles you have placed in front of yourself.

I stopped in the middle of the woods path, beside the beautiful river, and saw for the first time this spring, the new buds on the trees, the new sprigs of green poking up through the dead leaves, the yellow flowers.  At that moment, I was able to stop longing for what it looked like in the winter (what once was) and waiting for what it will look like in the summer (the expectation of what is to come), and in doing so, I saw the beauty of the moment. 

It is a new season.  I need to learn to let some things go.  What about you? 

Are you ready to empty so you can be filled?  Can you let go so you can be in the moment? There is beauty in the transition if we are only open to seeing it.

As I finished my walk, God was gracious to help me to see some of the things I need to let go of. Self-sufficiency was number one.  We were created for relationship – relationship with God and then people.  We were never intended to figure it out or to do it on our own. Foundations built on “I can do it on my own” are foundations built on the sand. Structures or systems in our life that we have created to “survive” need to be deconstructed and reconstructed with the truths that only Jesus can show us. That foundation will be a foundation built on the solid rock.

What about perfectionism and false responsibility?  Doing as a way to prove your worth or to earn your existence?  Running fast and hard to outrun that “thing”? 

I don’t know about you, but these are all things I need to learn to let go. 

As I stood in the woods, by the bridge, over the river, I lifted my palms upward and gave it all to Jesus.  I asked for His forgiveness, not for building the structures I needed to survive at certain points in my life, but for turning away from His offers of help even when I knew, the structures “I built” no longer served me.

“And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace.” (John 1:16)

The Passion Translation says it this way: 

“And from the overflow of his fullness we received grace heaped upon more grace!”

In the letting go, in the transition, in the moment, I found His grace.

Do you know what you need to let go of?  Are you ready to offer it up to Jesus?  He is not waiting to pounce on you and condemn you when you lift your palms upward.  He is waiting to hold out His hands to receive what you are ready to let go of and to hold out His arms when you are ready to run into His.

It is a new season.  I am choosing to let some things go.  What about you? 

This is not a word to devour and move on.  This is a word to sit with.  Take the time; allow it to seep below the surface.  Then respond and watch what God will do, not only in your life but also in the lives around you.

Thanks for stopping in for a chat!  I always enjoy our time together.

Drop your thoughts in the comment section below – I would love to hear from you!

Until next time!

Laurie

bridge in the woods
Category: Moments, New Beginnings | LEAVE A COMMENT